✿❀ My Hawaiian Restroom Experience ❀✿ I know that sounds like the title of a perverted erotic fiction short story, but it isn’t. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably going to read this post before clicking on Part 1, but you really shouldn’t. Not only is the second part of this review considerably less… Read More Café O’Lei, Kihei (Part No. 2)
As much as you’d likely love for me to jump right in and review the restroom for this hip, happenin’ Hawaiian café, I feel it somewhat necessary to first comment on the circumstances leading up to my unexpected, unwanted, and altogether unforgettable voyage across the Pacific to this purportedly must-see paradise. Don’t worry. I know… Read More Café O’Lei Kihei (Maui, Hawaii) Part 1
I was so excited to drop in to the Dogpatch Bistro Pub I was practically panting. After working up an appetite playing fetch nearby in Edmonton’s river valley with my owner, this trendy lookin’ establishment seemed like the perfect place to put some pellet food into my belly and get some butt scratches relaxation. Alright.… Read More No Scooby Snacks at this Dogpatch
Continued from Part 1 Lovers recoil. It’s time for part (number) 2 of that 7-Eleven review you probably didn’t even bother to begin reading anyway. Last week, I “treated” you to a journey through my Valentine’s date at a Northside 7-Eleven that sells liquor. And everyone knows the important role liquor plays in cultivating a… Read More Valentines Day at 7-Eleven (Part 2)
Lovers rejoice. Your favourite chain for late-night nourishments, last-minute condoms, and after-sex smokes is finally providing a more involved option for your convenience store needs. The 7-Eleven at 14110 127 St NW in Edmonton, Alberta is now officially serving liquor. This means that from 11am – 11pm, you can now enjoy a bottle of wine… Read More Valentines Day at 7-Eleven in Edmonton, Alberta (Part 1)
Oh, hi. I kind of just…stopped doing these, didn’t I? Huh. Maybe I should, like, say some stuff? First of all, what are you even still doing here? This shit is like, so 2018. Everyone knows that all the best “content creators” are on Tik Tok nowadays. But don’t worry: As tempting as it is… Read More Shit or Get Off the Blog
I was only inside of St. Albert for about as long as my meal at Pho Anh Sang could stay inside of me; and while neither trip ended up taking very long before it was time to evacuate, I did make it to the restroom in time. Alright, so the beef pho I had was actually decent, if a little… Read More Skip the Sink at Pho Anh Sang
For all you edjucated folks out there, it’s back to school season again. Alright, so maybe that was 2 months ago, but if you’re a student you’ll sympathize with my general avoidance toward writing about lavatories as I deal with the panic that is filed tightly inside my studious little skull—sore from tension headaches created… Read More Staples-Induced Seasonal Depression
The year is 2018. The planet’s population has reached critical mass. The political climate in North America has become a catastrophic arena occupied by tribal, contentious ideologues. The expression of ideas been reduced to Social Media Newspeak, and the trivial issues facing society have taken precedent over matters of legitimate importance. Sides are being taken,… Read More Target Self Storage
Zougla. What a word. It sounds like onomatopoeia for thick, cold gravy flopping onto a naked plate. It slides off my tongue smoother than jelly but has the auditory bite of a foreign curse word. Depending on the inflection you use, Zougla can convey a multitude of emotions. Celebratory. Tribal. Jovial. Angry. Comical. Without any… Read More The Mystery of Zougla
The Latrine Scene 