Oh, hi. I kind of just…stopped doing these, didn’t I? Huh. Maybe I should, like, say some stuff? First of all, what are you even still doing here? This shit is like, so 2018. Everyone knows that all the best “content creators” are on Tik Tok nowadays. But don’t worry: As tempting as it is… Read More Shit or Get Off the Blog
For all you edjucated folks out there, it’s back to school season again. Alright, so maybe that was 2 months ago, but if you’re a student you’ll sympathize with my general avoidance toward writing about lavatories as I deal with the panic that is filed tightly inside my studious little skull—sore from tension headaches created… Read More Staples-Induced Seasonal Depression
The year is 2018. The planet’s population has reached critical mass. The political climate in North America has become a catastrophic arena occupied by tribal, contentious ideologues. The expression of ideas been reduced to Social Media Newspeak, and the trivial issues facing society have taken precedent over matters of legitimate importance. Sides are being taken,… Read More Target Self Storage
Montana’s loves meat. They smoke it, they grill it, they BBQ it. They’ll cook up any bloody slab of chuck for you to chew on and chase down with a frosty, ballsy brew. I can still feel my testosterone levels boiling as I write this. My mouth is still watering from residual rib-flavour in my greedy maw.… Read More Mosey On Over to Montana’s
As it turns out, Port Alberni has a robust selection of restaurants. During a short visit, I had the opportunity to select from a variety of places to grab some grub. A quick google search yielded 3 pages of results, and it was almost impossible to find one that scored under 4 out of 5… Read More I’ve Got Soul, but I’m Not a Solda
Ah yes, highway gas stations. Sanctoriums of relief and refreshment. Fixtures for ephemeral endeavours. Overpriced beef jerky. The noble protectors who commit themselves to the thankless task of nurturing and preserving the assets of such an institution are a distinctive breed. Incomparable by vast degrees to the attendants of more localized ventures who provide the… Read More Malahat Gas & Convenience Store
While I don’t have any loyalty toward any grocery store, I do have a pretty good idea of which ones to go to for particular items. For example, if I want to wrestle with a wobbly paper bag on my way back to my car, I’ll go to Thrifty’s. If I want wax-tasting fruit, I’ll… Read More The sharing spirit of QFs
The first time I ever stole anything was at a Safeway. Well, I almost stole something. I couldn’t have been any older than 5, and had never seen a bulk section. So this is where all the candy comes from! When my mom wasn’t looking, I pocketed one of those little gooey caramel square things. I… Read More Finding Closure at Safeway
For those of you who have been following this blog, you may have noticed an inconsistency in how often I post content, including my most recent stretch of time without a review. If you are one of those people, I advise you to seek professional help as soon as possible. Alas, my pause in posting about… Read More Eleni’s Restaurant
My closet is crammed with clothing that other people used to own. The kind of stuff that people probably hadn’t worn in years. Oversized cardigans, sweaters that shed, and t-shirts that I hope I’ll fit into by summer. In Nanaimo, Value Village has the largest selection of previously owned pearls and prizes you can give… Read More Value Village
The Latrine Scene 